


I have Writer's Block, and His Name is Steven

by The_Annoying_DAHG



Series: Poetry [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Gen, Possibly Unrequited Love, y'all know that "Cheerios are heart-healthy" vine right?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28143381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Annoying_DAHG/pseuds/The_Annoying_DAHG
Summary: A poem about my writing, and real-life frustrations I have with a boy I love.
Series: Poetry [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063175
Kudos: 2





	I have Writer's Block, and His Name is Steven

I can write things just fine, but the problem arises

when I want to write characters where they have compromises

with people they love. It hits too close to home

for me and my friend-turned-my-crush. He knows.

Try as I might, the words won't come out.

I'll write and rewrite and I'll be just about

completed and then I hear in my brain,

"That's too unrealistic. You've got to explain!"

Well, you know what, subconscious? I have news for you.

When you're sharing a room with the boy that you knew

promised to marry you when you were young,

YOU can try to explain that and make it not sound like dung.

I've written for childhood friends a whole lot,

because the experience is relatable, but not

quite enough that the ending feels real,

because he rejected me. He knows how I feel.

I wrote for Hop and Gloria, Gladion and Moon,

Shuvvel the Greenie and Buckett the Goob,

Years ago, I wrote Salphys, and Undyrus too,

and I want to make one about a prince in blue.

He meets a strange girl who wants him dead

but he finds her amazing, and the scene makes her head

spin wildly out of control, don't you see,

a slow-burn fic for Lancer and Susie.

Enough about them. I wrote this for me.

I've gotten depressed about him. Like, I see

and I know he doesn't like me, but that doesn't keep

those what-ifs and maybes from trying to creep.

I took from experience for my Lionheart fic,

Where Sonia chickens out and it makes her feel sick.

I did it last year and I feel awful still,

and I took the plunge again, and it doesn't feel real.

So, Steven, if you're reading (you're probably not)

It's Hannah. You know me. I like you a lot

and I want you to love me, and keep me away

from destroying myself, like I do every day.

I'm stressed and depressed and my body's all rotten,

and I think that you might possibly have forgotten

that when we were little, you promised to me

that when we grew up, we would marry.

If I could just know, it would save me from this.

Do you like me? Yes? No? I don't want to miss

that time in DC where we stared at the lights

and we got pictures taken... it was so _nice._

I'm sorry, I rambled, I do this too much,

He's not even reading. I just wanna touch

on what I've been dealing with day after day

after week after month. It hurts, I can say.

I just want an answer, is that too much to ask?

Even if it's a no, I'll still complete the task

of knowing I told you, knowing I have confessed,

and I hope that it finally puts my mind to rest.


End file.
